Shattered and Mended
by AnnabelleRivers
Summary: Luna Lovegood knew what she wanted. She always had. With this dark man, she could finally say it. He didn't care if she wasn't the sweet, odd girl the rest of the world expected. He didn't care about anyone and in that she found release. Post-War Healing Rated M for mature content REPOST and updated!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One- A Beginning or Maybe an End**

* * *

Luna Lovegood was absolutely, positively _not_ hiding.

It was important to her that the distinction was made even as she reached out to test both the lock and privacy wards on the door in front of her. She might look like she was hiding to her coworkers and friends, what with the locked door and all, but Luna knew this was only a brief pause. A time to collect herself before she had to face someone who always managed to make her feel completely out of sorts.

The party outside her office had been a mostly enjoyable one. She'd spent all afternoon decorating for it, taking time to hang tiny lights in swirling patterns on the walls and helping Hermione Granger fill bowls with sugary snacks all coloured in pastel blues and pinks. Freshly pressed linens covered the floor to ceiling bookshelf behind the main counter which would be lifted away at precisely the right time to show the newest publications from Quibbler Publishing. Adding to that success was the news that now the storefront was open, after two years of hard work to expand their growing company, gave Luna and her friends all the reasons to celebrate. _They had earned a fun night._

Opening the store to help support the work going into _The Quibbler_ magazine and other publications like the _Snitches and Brooms_ and _Accio Adventures_ periodicals, was the final piece to completing what they had been working tirelessly on. With support from Hermione as one partner and the almost natural business sense from Percy Weasley as her other, they had capitalized on the incredible surge of Quibbler subscribers still remaining after the war to create the third wizarding publishing company in Britain and the only one owned by a witch. Adding the shop would attract the coming holiday crowds in Diagon Alley and give them a bigger budget adding on more writers.

Even tonight, there was already talk of expanding into a Quidditch division of Quibbler Publishing, to support _Snitches and Brooms_ and other publications to come. The news made both of the Weasleys on staff light up at the possibilities. Good times were ahead- _finally_ , after so much time lost in the dark.

They'd even hired the perfect person to manage the front of the house sales. Thanks to Hermione's quick thinking and negotiating prowess, Lavender Brown was now on staff. Her keen eye for perfection and order was the perfect balance to George Weasley's penchant for troublemaking. They were small but a mighty group, each driven by their own need to be something more after the war and connected together in little, unseen ways that Luna was excited for them each to find as more years together passed.

It was only right that Luna had enjoyed the elf-made wine flowing freely between bites of sweetcakes. Just a few minutes earlier, everyone had seemed to be in the full swing of celebration. Lavender had been gossiping happily in the corner with Astoria Greengrass, one of the freelance writers who submitted work from time to time. George's booming laugh had been heard from the huddle of young witches surrounding him by the door. Her other main writer, Rolf Scamander, had been recounting stories from his more recent trips with an older mentor who worked to keep a steady supply of cakes and candies on his plate. Even Hermione had been getting more red-faced as Percy twirled her around the centre of the room, her two friends laughing freely as the party ramped up.

All had been well. All had been _happy._ Until a certain owl came tapping on the windows minutes after the fourth round of toasts.

Luna had recognized it right away. It was _his_ personal owl. The large creature was holding onto a letter with thick, hard-pressed writing that insisted she respond right away to finish the paperwork still left undone that secured their arrangement. Not _tomorrow_ as previously planned, when sunlight and sobriety would bring her a more rational mind to deal with the wizard on the other end of the quill, but _tonight._

Her quick reply of _not tonight, please, you promised_ must have sounded like _yes, of course, come barge in on my happy party_ because exact wizard she'd not been wanting to see tonight was here.

His presence was made perfectly clear with his overly dramatic entrance- complete with his robes moving with a breeze not felt otherwise- as guests gasped and moved quickly out of the often manic man's way. Luna had seen the way he scanned over the crowd, no doubt looking for her, before she made a hasty excuse and even quicker exit to the safety of her private office in the back.

The urge to pout at the change in not only her mood, but what she was sure was the breaking apart of her party, almost made leave her office if only to pull Hermione back inside. Luna imagined that her friend would gently remind her that it was her idea to join in the Ministry's newest displaced workers program, the acronym for which neither of the witches could say without giggling, and offer comfort at the position she was now in.

To her, there really hadn't been much more of a choice. Once Luna had seen his name on this list owl'ed to her the week prior, she had felt the pull to pick him. It might have been easier to pick one of the other proven spies or helpers from the war or maybe even one of the few "Ministry reformed" Death Eaters released from Azkaban, but she knew from the moment she accepted the offer for her company to participate exactly who she would select.

Even after she'd circled his name in deep purple ink, she had paused before sending the response, wondering if she should let her friends talk her out of it before deciding against that too. Once the deed was done, Luna had dreaded telling everyone resulting in another long stint inside her office to muster up the courage to face what she had decided.

Percy had practically begged her to change her mind. Hermione had stood in silence, gnawing on her bottom lip as Luna tried to explain why it had to be _him._ The good press would be beneficial for them all but more so was the chance to once and for all level the Quidditch field between her and the ex-Death Eater turned supporter of the Order of the Phoenix. Her friends didn't know all of the story but they knew enough to understand, _eventually_ , why Luna felt it necessary to invite the volatile wizard on staff temporarily.

No one else liked it or even attempted to hide their feelings. Rolf had quickly left for a sudden interview with a centaur once the announcement was made a staff meeting. Astoria voiced her concerns none too quietly at being associated with Death Eaters again after working hard to separate herself from the criminal groups and families. Once Luna shared what position the dark wizard would fill, Lavender and George who complained a whole day through of how terrible it would be to work the shop with him but no one really pushed too hard against her decision.

In some ways, tonight's party was also her apology. She wanted them to trust her and understand why the dark wizard needed to be around for a few weeks and ease the tension she'd felt building as the days approached. Luna needed to keep her real reasons close to her chest still, a real part of her terrified that the truth would turn them against her. She worried, too much at times, if anyone would really understand.

With her back still to the door and her concentration centered on pulling her thoughts back to the present, Luna took a long inhale in through her nose, holding one nostril shut and then the other. It was a practiced alternate breath meant to calm the mind but as she tried it again this time, it didn't work. She tried again, willing the calming method to soothe her too frazzled emotions.

An older part of her might have blamed some invisible creatures flying about for her panic but the woman she was today just couldn't hold onto such ideas. Of course, no one really got that and so she smiled and nodded when her friends offered the familiar fantastical explanations for her often changing moods. _They mean well._

The same friends who were probably whispering about her right now. She could imagine that Hermione was holding off the inevitable interruption for her sake and that Percy was working to keep the party going despite the uninvited guest. She'd left them alone to deal with her problem and it made her body feel funny, all tight and tense, to think they might be disappointed in her. _Better to stay here in the office away from it all._

Luna closed her eyes instead, focusing on the smell of her office. There was the comfort of the sweet incense burning in various spots around the room and the faint smell of varnish coming off the back of her office door as she turned to lean her forehead against it. A few more deep breaths had Luna feeling centered again, her hand reaching for the handle of the door before a loud and too confident knock broke the peace she had just created.

She jumped back, breath quickening again.

"Luna? Luna are you in there?" That was Rolf calling for her. Sweet, warm Rolf coming to check on his friend and employer who had practically run out of the room a few minutes before. He had no real idea of what had upset her, although Luna was sure he could guess. She was sure they all could guess as it was clearly written on her face the moment he stepped into the room.

Refusing to answer anyone, even Rolf, Luna stepped quickly away from the door. They would all have to wait a while longer if they wanted to see her. There were confusing thoughts to put back into order before she could step back into the main shop of Quibbler Publishing and continue playing the charming host for this evening's event.

"I am not hiding," she answered in a whisper that wouldn't be heard by those wanting her attention but that part didn't matter to her. The assurance was only for herself. _Not hiding._

Hiding meant ducking under beds or bunching into wardrobes. It meant being very quiet or maybe sitting the dark for fear of being caught. She wasn't doing any of that, standing instead in the center of her office like a grown witch would do, with the door shut for privacy reasons. _Yes, that one almost sounded convincing._

Besides, she wasn't afraid. Nervous and regretful but even those emotions felt distinctly different from the very real fear she had felt in the past. All of her memories with hiding centered on fear like when she hid from the Death Eaters who broke into her home or hid from the better fighters in the battle. _Or when you hid behind - no. Not that. Not today._

To keep her mind from yanking her back down a dark path, Luna whispered words aloud. "They are your friends. You are safe here. You are not hiding...only pausing."

As Luna rounded the corner of her desk to sink into the plush chair on the other side, she started to re-arrange the framed photographs lining right edge of her workstation. Picking each one up and moving them just slightly askew from how they'd been before gave her shaking hands a welcomed activity and her heart a chance to return to a more normal rhythm. Seeing the faces of old classmates and friends smiling and laughing in each frame always calmed her. They were a physical reminder of the sunshine in her life.

More arguing could be heard outside. Luna reached back for her wand, the twist of her wrist muffling the sounds. Eyeing the back of her door warily, she sighed before shaking her head to ward off the more negative thoughts starting to gather.

 _Not hiding_ , the reminder came again, its needed repetition adding to the nerves tightening her gut. _Pausing._

She was taking a pause. That's what this was- a pause. A normal and necessary break so that once she went back outside her office, she would handle what was waiting for her there.

Only that answer didn't quite satisfy her either. Luna knew that if she was being completely honest with herself, she'd been almost obsessed with pauses lately. Since Quibbler Publishing had opened two years ago, she took them whenever and however she could as if being robbed of the pause needed between childhood and adulthood had to be stolen back in little minutes and hours between her days. As if once she became more settled into the world, all of the things she never quite dealt with after the war had to have space again. Tiny amounts of space. Never any more than that. Just lots of tiny little bits of space. _Pauses._

Her office was her favourite place for these short pauses. The clutter around her purposefully created, piles of books and stray sheets of parchment littered the charmed desk that changed colour every few hours, all in the brightest shades. The pictures frames that lined one side contrasted with the row of tiny succulents on the other, creating an almost fence even around her workspace. It gave her an enclosure, another thing she admittedly had been craving any chance she could.

It would have been easier if there had been a formula to follow for handling life after Hogwarts and after the battles ended. A large part of her thinking liked that sort of order, even if no one thought she did. It's why she liked her famously logical friend Hermione so much. She could understand her and how she worked through problems.

Or maybe a recipe card should have been handed to each of them, the not quite graduates who each wore their own sets of scars, instead of Orders of Merlin. Yes, a recipe, like the ones her Mum had used for her baking or the ones Professor Snape taught in the Potions classroom. Those were enough to follow along with. She could reference it like her old textbooks, do _this_ instead of _that_ if you faced war, death, and devastation before the age of 17. Turn to _this_ page and follow _that_ flowchart if you were locked in a cellar with evil wizards for several months. Use the guide on that back of _this_ handout if both of your parents are gone and you now have no clue on how to behave. Do you have a small fortune now in your name and yet no job? Please follow this guidebook step by step.

It certainly would be have been easier than the stumbling about she'd done for the last several years. Might have saved her some time, too. It was only after years of searching through magical and non-magical bookshops for answers not written, attending seminars and classes to leave as empty-handed as she came and even trying to mimic her more successful friends and past classmates only to be still as lost and wandering as always. And wandering led to hidi- _no,_ pauses. _Pauses, pauses, pauses._

Another knock interrupted her thoughts. The sound was strange against the muffling charms, like what she imagined life underwater would sound like. Sometimes Luna thought that might be a better life if she'd been born a mermaid instead of the complicated life she had on land.

Her Dad used to tell her all about the merpeople. Bedtime stories were filled with tales of underwater kings and their brave daughters who went on grand adventures across the seas. At this moment, those worlds and adventures sounded remarkably tempting that Luna had half a mind to sneak back out of her office and head for the nearest beach.

Leaning back against the chair, she sighed and picked up her wand again. The knock was clearer now, not friendly like she had hoped, but not muffled by her charm anymore. It wasn't the knock of Hermione, who a professional ring to her knock if ever there was such a thing, or Percy who always knocked with three sharp raps, or even George who tended to knock out a rhythm.

As Luna ran down the list of potential people causing the noise, a nagging feeling in her gut told her exactly who this was, even if she didn't want to face it. She was regretting any of her decisions that brought that knock, that loud and flat sound of the side of a fist instead of knuckles, to her door.

It was _him_. The wizard Luna both wished she had never met and the very same she still felt indebted to even years after the final battle. The night had been going by splendidly until he decided to come by, obviously ignoring her request for him to wait until the morning for their meeting. Then again, patience wasn't a virtue the dark wizard was known for, aggravatingly conniving and oddly attractive- yes, but patient and respectful of others' wishes- no.

Which clearly being demonstrated as she heard him growl something foul at whoever was joining him on the other side of the door. She stood abruptly, reacting to him already despite the three inches of hardwood, layers of spells, and the distance across her office between the two of them.

Luna was a titch grateful when she heard the commotion of other people rushing over to where the wizard was still knocking. It gave her an excuse to delay just a bit while longer.

"You can't just barge in here and demand things!" That was an irritated Hermione repeating a line she'd heard almost shouted a few minutes earlier. The difference now is there was a long stretch of quiet before Luna heard a mumbled "Sir" after. It appeared her guest was already getting the forced respect he was used to.

"I'm not barging, _swot._ I was invited and this one," his voice rang out louder as he knocked again, "was the one to do it."

The next voice she heard as Luna rested her head in her hands, eyes trained on the door in case it swung open, was Percy's. "There must have been some misunderstanding. You are scheduled to meet with us- the managers- tomorrow at half past noon. Tonight is for current employees and invited guests only." And again Luna heard a hasty 'sir' added to end.

"Please leave. _Quietly,_ " Hermione pleaded and Luna could imagine they were gaining the room's attention. "And she'll owl you later to confirm your meeting tomorrow. It's only fair."

Fairness. A thread that might have caught anyone else but the wizard Hermione was talking to. He hurled another insult at her friend before resuming the pounding on her door, this time even louder. "Open. This. Door. _Now,_ Luna Lovegood, before I start _knocking_ heads together instead."

 _Pause over!_ Luna reached over to grab a handful of bangles from the dish in front of her, adjusted the braids hanging down either side of her head and walked with as much confidence she could muster across the room.

It was time to face a supposedly insane and notoriously quick-tempered wizard who frightened most of the population of magical Britain. Again.

* * *

 _ **This is a repost from my old account where this story was paused after Chapter One. Original Alpha credits for content previously posted to Calebski.**_

 _ **Multi-Chapter | Post-War Healing | Rated for Language and Adult Content**_


	2. Chapter 2

_It was time to face a supposedly insane and notoriously quick-tempered wizard who frightened most of the population of magical Britain. Again._

* * *

 **Chapter Two - Ribbons**

* * *

Only things once again did not go as planned.

Luna moved to unlock and open her office door, revealing far too many eyes as curious partygoers joined in with the three people at her door to stare at her. She twisted her body to the side, intending on slipping out to take on the irritated wizard facing her. Only she didn't get very far before said wizard roughly pushed her back inside, growling something sarcastic and mean to the people watching.

The last thing she saw before her office door shut again was Percy and Hermione both reaching for the handle. _Too late._

"Ah, ah, ah," the dark-eyed wizard mocked as he slammed the door. "Little Luna and I need a _private_ chat."

Barty Crouch Jr. turned on his heel, his back leaning against the door as he ignored the knocks sounding on the other side.

He was pissed. That was evident even if Luna wasn't someone who, fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, knew the different tics and movements on his face well enough to catch it.

She knew his emotional swings better than anyone still living. A title she had never wanted to hold. It was the result of her time in locked away in the cellar of Malfoy Manor when the then current and exuberant Death Eater Barty Crouch Jr. had been the one to keep her alive and relatively unharmed. A stint of care that had come with a cost for them both.

Lying about the truth of what happened in the cellar had been surprisingly easy. Her friends hadn't suspected the real reason the Death Eater had sworn allegiance to their side. Sometimes she wished she had been more honest with them instead of hiding to focus on what she thought were more important things. _If they knew..._

He was obviously manipulating her and using their shared secret to his advantage. It was the only reason she had agreed to hire him on. Lying was easier these days; her friends hadn't suspected her real reasons at all. Which Luna supposed was working well for him since he was the one she selected to fill the open position at Quibbler Publishing. What Barty didn't know yet was that this arrangement would work in both of their favours. _Eventually._

With hands shaking more than she liked, Luna turned her back to the dark wizard and moved to put a small basket filled with all sorts of brightly patterned ribbons on her desk. The original excuse for taking her pause when she had seen him darken the doorway of her beloved shop.

"Is this where you're _hiding_?"

 _That word._ It bothered her and he knew it.

Luna looked over to see Barty leaning against the newly locked door, ignoring the frantic sets of knocks on the other side. Hermione could be heard the loudest as she ushered whoever else was crowded around the door back to the party and called over George Weasley to guard it.

Barty grinned as they listened from the inside and waggled his eyebrows. "Fiesty thing, that one is."

 _Another distraction._ Luna tilted her head to one side and said nothing.

Now that she was feeling at least bold enough to really take a look at him, she could see how different he was.

His face was gaunter than she remembered. It made his sharp features poke out more and the intensified the look of his hawk-like, dark eyes. His hair was a bit longer and less smoothed back then it had been before and the stubble along his jaw was definitely new. He wasn't as unkempt as the madman she'd fist encountered years ago nor was he the polished and refined Pureblood, deadly in his power.

This was something altogether different.

She started to ask him what has changed, curiosity taking over all other emotions until she saw his face shift into his usual smirk. Half mocking, half leering it was a grin that unsettled her. Made her feel vulnerable again, as so often Barty had a knack of making her feel. Seeing the look of his face made her close her mouth again firmly.

She moved to the opposite side of the desk, hands fumbling for the basket of ribbon again. A piece of a memory surfaced reminding her that Barty wouldn't hurt her but that wouldn't stop him from playing with her emotions. _Deep breaths. Center._

Continuing whatever game was currently amusing him, Barty unfolded and refolded his arms, the well-tailored look of his dark robes a contrast to his current appearance.

His eyes roamed over the details of her office, pausing at each bookshelf, table, succulent, decoration before finally, he inspected her now yellow desk from afar as if he was memorizing every inch. She stood stiff and still as Barty continued to survey her office, his gaze tracing the windowsill behind her desk and the collection of charms hanging from a copper branch off the ceiling.

At last, his eyes met hers, the smirk returning before he made a show of slowly trailing her body with his heated look until his gaze reached hers again. Heat filled her cheeks and in a desperate need to hide the growing blush, Luna ducked back down to where she was laying out specific ribbon spools on her desk.

"I'm not _hiding._ They need ribbons for the wrapping. Lavender is managing the gift wrapping station all alone so I better get these out to her before-" A loud scoff stopped her rambling before it even started.

It was a weak explanation. Luna knew that and knew that Barty did too. Anyone else might have let that sort of avoidant answer slide, but not him. Never him.

Luna ducked down her head to do anything other than look back at him as she waited for him. He would call her out on her answer. He always did. The wizard had a way of making her feeling fumbling and foolish like no else did. Luna hadn't quite figured out if that was a very bad thing or a possibly good thing yet.

With ease, Barty pushed himself away from the door, plucking an unseen bit of lint from his sleeve before flicking it away. He moved a few steps closer, his anger replaced by a casual air. This was a Barty back in control. Something about his demeanor calmed Luna, this was a side of him she knew well enough to navigate.

Barty spoke soft enough that she had to lean forward a bit to hear him properly. "You have staff for menial tasks like that, don't you? Merlin, you could even order me to do since I'm barely more than an apprentice here. You wanted to hide. Admit it."

Luna swerved around his original point instead, not ready to give in to his constant demands for her unwavering honesty around him again. "You aren't hired yet. You weren't even supposed to _be_ here. I told you that we would meet tomorrow, _after the party_ , to sign the papers." It was brazen to talk to the volatile wizard like this, she knew that but the words spilled out anyway.

As expected, her reply earned her another glare. Barty took another menacing step forward this time with a malicious smile returning to his thin lips. She stood still.

After a pause, Barty rolled his eyes and sighing a bit too dramatically when she didn't react. _Another game they had played before._ "I didn't appreciate your half-formed reply shot off through the Floo. So I came… _tonight._ Consider me early for my first shift, then." He then made a grand gesture of a mocking bow.

Luna kept silent, pressing her lips together to hold back any ill-thought-out reply.

It made his glare darker, his voice deeper. The next steps he took across her office brought him much too close to her. "I either work here _officially_ or I'll stand outside your shop door and make sure no one ever wants to come in. You choose, little Luna."

It was in conversations like this that came up far too often with Barty that Luna wished she could be more like her other friends. She longed for the hot-headed reactions of Ginny or the quick retorts Hermione used. They never seemed to be as bothered as she felt when pushed. And Barty liked to push. He had since the first day she met him and continued to do so in this case, ramming right through normal social barriers as if they never existed for him.

He never seemed deterred by her strangeness and that bothered her most of all.

In recent years, she'd come to rely heavily on it. The odder she acted, the more she was left alone. No one pressed her for more, blaming it all on her eccentricities. A trick that worked back in her school days and even now, years later, as her friends and strangers alike saw her as Loony Lovegood. No one asked why she would run off for sudden trips to find creatures she wasn't sure if she believed in anymore. No one prodded when she rattled on about hidden magics instead of answering uncomfortable questions. Most of all, no one came to bother her at home or when her office door was shut as her pauses and time away from others all added to the oddness she used now as a shield.

Barty didn't seem to care about that. He hadn't in the Malfoy's cellar when she tried to make him go away by talking incessantly about the mating habits of crumple horned snorkacks. Or when she went dead silent, hoping her blank expression would deter his interest in her but each day he returned with a fresh supply of food and water and not a care in the world for her tricks to push him away.

Maybe it was because he was a known madman himself, but he never even acknowledged her oddness. He pushed. He prodded. _He invaded._ Despite it all, Luna found herself grateful for it, the twists in her gut he made her feel by focusing so closely on her at least felt like something. It broke through the numbness that took over more and more of her days.

"It's just ribbon," she said, hearing the uncertainty in her own reply. "I'm not hiding. Pausing to get some ribbon. Nothing more."

He scoffed. "You can tell yourself that all you like. _It's shite._ But go on lyin' if you want."

With that he took three wide steps forward, snatching several of the ribbon spools none too gently off the desk. "Come back out and play hostess, witch, before your dim-witted friends finally catch on that you aren't as well as you pretend to be."

As he pulled the door back open, Barty turned to offer her another cruel, twisted smile. "Three weeks at full-time hours should make the Ministry happy and get me access to my vaults and deeds. And _then_ I'll make sure we never have to cross paths again."

The door shut again with a loud thud, cutting off the sounds of the party again. A breath she didn't realize was stuck inside her chest released.

 _Three weeks._ Luna Lovegood knew enough about herself by now that she could get through nearly anything for three weeks.


End file.
